Tir Na n’Og

Tir Na n’Og is based on the Irish story of Bran and Nechtan's trip to the Isles of Youth. This island is a strange cabaret where anything goes but where nothing ever changes. In the end, no amount of debauchery can counter the excruciating boredom of living for ever, and Nechtan chooses to come home, only to find that hundreds of years have passed. He leaps ashore and turns to dust.

The music for the songs was played by a Cabaret Band, and was composed by Ian Morgan-Williams.

Two Cabaret Songs

CHARACTERS AND SCENARIO

Download complete play (0.4 Mb pdf file)

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Sample Scene

Prologue

Bran and Nechtan run on stage in a physical and belligerent manner

Bran	We're young
Nechtan	We're cool
Bran	We're tough
Nechtan	You fools!
Bran	Lager?

Bran chucks over a can

Nechtan	Yeah
Both	We're Men!

They open their cans (which fizz) with panache

Bran	Knives at the ready
Nechtan	We'll slit your throat
Bran	Cross us
Nechtan	Cross us?
Bran	If you dare!
Nechtan	He's the leader, I'm the tough guy
Bran	We meet every evening down the pub
Nechtan	Then on with the lads to case the club
Bran	The disco's crap
Nechtan	But the bar stays open
Bran	We earn our dosh
Nechtan	And spend it
Bran	How
Nechtan	We
Bran	Please
Nechtan	And if you’re old, we hate you
Bran	scorn you
Nechtan	If you’re old
Bran	You’re wrinkly
Both	Past it!
Nechtan	(half singing) You belong to yesterday
Bran	Now it’s our turn
Nechtan	we're the young lads
Bran	we're the rulers
Nechtan	Here’s our castle
Bran	I'm the king In this world we want a good time
Nechtan	just a good time
Bran	Randy good time
Nechtan	In this life we have a good time
Bran	nothing
Nechtan	else
Both	matters
Bran	So on down the club
Nechtan	where the beer's expensive
Both	But they sell it all night
Bran	Where the girls are sad
Both	But they sell all right
Bran	I‘m Bran
Nechtan	I’m Nick
Bran	So watch it!
Nick	Cause-
Both	we’re bored!
Youth	Have you tried the new club – the in club – the Cabaret! Specially made ~ for real men like you. It's an all night rave ~ for steel men like you
Nechtan	Little shit
Bran	Jumped up zombie
Nechtan	Go away or we’ll smash your head in
Youth	Just you try me
Nechtan	Now you've had it
Youth	Macho macho can't catch me

They chase him into the Auditorium

Scene 1 – The call

As they leave the stage, they are intercepted by the waitresses

Wench A&B	We’re the spirits of the café
Wench A	Wait here while we find a seat You could say we are immortal
Wench B	Would you like a bite to eat?
Wench A	Near the window or the band, sir? Here we’ve got a table laid
Wench B	Gannymedes and serving wenches All are members of our trade
Wench A	We’ll provide you food and water
Wench B	Turn it into prawns and wine Burgers baps and stuffed potatoes
Wench A	Basket chicken’s more our line

Bran and Nechtan push past and continue their chase

Wench B	P’raps you’d like a juicy cocktail
Wench A	Vodka, ice and rotten egg
Wench A&B	We’re the spirits of the café Here to bring you down a peg!

Youth reaches the stage again

Youth	Hey! Macho Men - I'm as good as you! My Name's Youth I'm on the fix of a lifetime. Want some?
Nechtan	We'll take some
Youth	Take 'em away – they're all yours, boss
Banshee	Why Hello – come on in – make yourself at home. We love new faces here. Welcome to the Cabaret of Youth

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Two Cabaret Songs

Song of a changed World

Nechtan
While lovers sing of home,
Time has lingered on,
But cannot bring us back to ourselves.

Despised deranged and mad;
All is danger now,
For unseen change has crept over my world.
The land is empty where once lay friendship;
Ashes are plentiful – burnt out people;
I’m going home—

I’m going home for good;
Going home is good;
And when I’m home, all the earth will be mine.
My time is past and I want no other;
Life should be fast and new every day.
I can’t last so I’m going home.

In this world you gotta be young

Chorus
We pull our gear on as we sharpen up our faces
We fill our pockets with disposable cash
Don’t care a monkey’s if you think we’re junkies
We are the winners whose game is confident ~ so confident
In this world you gotta be young

We’re right behind you when you’re peering in the mirror
We’re overtaking – Look! We’ve stepped in your shoes
Our star is soaring, but you’re sad and boring
Worn out old has-beens of no damn consequence ~ no consequence
In this world you gotta be
In this world you gotta be
~ Cool ~ Fun ~ Stupendous
So turn up the heat till we’re frying fast
The future will take care of dying fast
For we don’t give a damn
~ Life’s a bloody scam
~ Young ~ Young
You gotta be Young
You gotta be Young

We spend the money so the advertisers love us
We make the running in our culture today
We spin the fashion, the music the passion
Worship our freedom an easy attitude - such latitude
In this world you gotta be young

We’re right behind you when you’re peering in the mirror
We’re overtaking – Look! We’ve stepped in your shoes
Our star is soaring, but you’re sad and boring
Worn out old has-beens of no damn consequence ~ no consequence
In this world you gotta be
In this world you gotta be
In this world you gotta be
In this world you
In this world you gotta you gotta be
YOUNG!

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